The Plant Path: Blossoming Herbalist
Lily magnolia blossom
I bore easily. And motivation fleets. I find this makes it difficult to commit myself to things. Introduce the variability of bipolar episodes and voila-- guaranteed instability.
What am I doing to do with my life? What kind of career do I want to build? What skills do I want to refine? What do I want out of life?
It can be hard to answer these questions sometimes. For so long, my wildest dream was an apartment to myself, a car, & a peaceful life within my budget. When I attained this, it seemed like a fairytale-- and a nightmare. It was even greater than I expected it to be-- and also not good enough. It took quite awhile for me to ground in the present and feel my emotions enough to discern what it is that I wanted from my life.
My spirit guides remind me that I am an herbalist: this is what I will be doing for the rest of my time here on Earth. I should commit to it as deeply and lovingly as possible because it is not going anywhere. My herbalism is a lifelong devotion to the Earth Mother & her cosmic magic. I will spend my life learning about and working with plants.
Me & the 1st cucumber I ever grew! 2022
Removing invasive plants with Native Plant Society
2024
Making this commitment did the opposite of what making commitments usually does to me: it made me excited. I felt inspired. If I were to commit to being an herbalist, instead of wandering off to the next wacky thing that caught my attention, I could grow. I could become woody, bloom my flowers, spread seeds. Imagine how great an herbalist I'd be in 10 years! I could write books, give speeches. And I don't have to rush! I can take my time and gradually build my empire from root to crown.
Flitting around from hobby to hobby is fun, being non-committal is fun-- but when you know, you know. Suddenly, flitting around non-committally doesn't look so fun anymore, it looks as though someone is lost. I was beginning to feel lost, too, and to doubt my ability to ever see anything to completion. You can't really do everything. You have to choose.
So what will it be?
